Saturday, February 02, 2008

Indecision Decision

I am bad at making decisions. I mean, there is a reason that I usually get the same thing every time I go out to a restaurant. If I know it's what I like, why rock the boat? Well, because of my inability to make decisions, I feel like I live in perpetual cycle of indecisions. I have been talking about moving from Iowa City since I graduated. Three years later, I am basically in the same place I was when I graduated. The only difference is that I know live on my own and I am a Lead Bookseller instead of just a Bookseller. A subtle difference I know but there is a difference. In the past when I have thought about moving, I didn't really know what I wanted to do when I got there. I think that was big part of my stalling. I really didn't want to move to Chicago, just to do what I do here you know. Would that really be a step forward or just a lateral move but in a different location? But I know what I want now, it's just a matter of figuring out how to get it. I want to be a buyer for Barnes and Noble. I know that I would be good at it. My years of experience of bookselling has given me an insight to what our customers want that I think gets lost on some of our current buyers who haven't worked in a store in a while or haven't worked in one of our stores period. My first attempt, sadly didn't work out but that was to expected. I mean, I am only a Lead and I live in Iowa City. Not exactly a hot bed of activity, even if it is the same town as the Iowa Writer's Workshop. The one thing good that did come out of this is that even after rejection, this is still something I want and I am willing to go through the hoops to get it and my information and name is in B&N HR records I won't have to fill out the application again. I can only hope that I left a good enough impression on the HR representative that when another position comes up that she will think of me again. I really hope so. I have been given a lot of support from my management here in my store and they have all have given good advice but for now I am operating on the wait and see approach. I know what you are thinking, this is more of my indecision but I don't think so. I have to plans in mind and they really depend on where my sister is going come August. This is a really big decision and I want to make the most informed decision. She should know in at least 2 months what she is doing and then I can make mine. In the meantime, I do have an application out in HR and there is always the possibility that another oppurtunity will arise so who knows what will happen. In the meantime, I am going to do all that I can to learn as much as possible about my store. I want to know all the aspects of how the store runs and everything like that. So that is my plan. I think it's a good one but only time will tell.

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