Monday, April 06, 2009

Dumb Criminals

Very rarely do we catch shoplifters. You have to be pretty dumb to get caught especially in a climate where companies are afraid of being sued for false accusations. Businesses have to be 100% sure that the person really did steal the items they have been accused. So basically, the only way they are going to be arrested if they actually admit to it. Well, we had 2 people try to shoplift from our store. The first guy tried to go out our ramp thinking that since he did see the security gates on both sides that it had no security sensors. He was wrong. His books beeped. The best part of the story is our Security guard asking the guy "What do you think your doing?". Really the best question ever! The guy so embarrassed. Put the books down and quickly left the store and that was it. The real genius was on Saturday. I wasn't there for the first guy but was working on Saturday. I was in the middle of doing a return when in the corner of my eye I could see one of my cashiers trying to get my attention. So, I ask her what she needs and our conversation went kind of like this.
cashier: "um... I just saw someone leave the store with a bunch of books and our paid-detail go after them. What do we do now?"

me: when did you see this?

cashier: a couple of minutes ago.

me: have they returned yet?

cashier: no.

me: ok, um, well. Let me tell (my manager) Laurie.

So I relay this story to Laurie and as I am finishing up, the Security guard (who looks 12) calls her to tell her the same thing I just did. At this point, it's time for my break. So, I clock out. Go downstairs to get my bag and as I'm leaving the store to get dinner the paid-detail cop has returned with the shoplifter in handcuffs. He didn't exactly look like you expect a shoplifter to look like. He was definitely in hipster gear. horn-rimmed classes, hoody jacket, fedora and converse. He looked so embarrassed, as he should be, when she brought him in but it was my break time and I was hungry so I wasn't going to stick around to see what happened. Well, I missed the excitement because like I said, we don't catch that many shoplifters. Laurie called our store manager, she wasn't in, so she called one of ASM's to ask what to do. He said call the cops and if they think we have enough evidence to charge him they will arrest him. So, she did call the cops but so did the paid-detail officer and our other manager who was there too. So there was like 20 cops walking around with nothing to do. The shoplifter was obviously not a pro because he immediately confesses. I guess he figured that if he admitted to it that we wouldn't arrest him but he was wrong. He admitted to it and he was going to jail and since it was a Saturday night. He would have to spend the weekend in jail and all for $180 worth of books. The best part was he was wearing a name badge. He works for Saturday Night Live! So he definitely wasn't going to work that night! I really hope that they do a skit on it next week!

1 comment:

Melissa said...

He works for SNL and wears a fedora...wow, what an idiot.

We didn't catch ours this week. Jackie busted a dude and he left all the stuff in the store (Tony told him not to come back) and then we're pretty sure some 12 yo kid who's been ripping us off for a while did it again on Friday (if Jackie or I see him again, he's toast).

People suck.