Saturday, July 29, 2006

Am I an adult?

So when do you know that you are officially an adult? Is there some kind of ceremony? Certificate? Ok, obviously not because I have to receive other one of those things. Is it when you get married? Well, what if you never get married? So, is it when your friends start getting married? Ok, is it when you graduated College? Some people never graduate, didn't go or will never leave. Is it when you start paying your own bills? Well, technically I have been paying my own bills since I was a sophomore in college. Was I an adult then? How about this one. Is it when you first live alone? Well some people have never lived by themselves. This is tricky.

So, let's go down the list. No, I am not married and I don't have any prospects. I did however catch Melinda's bouquet at her wedding last week so maybe this is closer then I think. (God, I hope not) I've definitely reached the age that people I knew in high school were getting married and having kids but just because someone else is getting married does that mean I am adult too? Just like we all graduated together, we passed into adulthood from childhood together too. This doesn't seem right. And anyway, Melinda is the first of my close circle of friends to get married so... Well, I don't know where I'm going with that.

I am a college graduate. I graduated last year but in the last year I really don't feel that much older. I kind of feel like I'm living day to day with no real plan for tomorrow. Is that what it's like to be an adult. I always that adults have plans, direction. They have careers not jobs. I have a job. I like my job, don't get me wrong but it isn't what I want to do with my life. Ok, I am more of an adult then I think so.

Now, I am personal responsible for my bills. My parents are no longer giving my monthly stipens and I no longer have a roommate to split the cost of rent, heat, water, cable. So, does that make me an adult?

I do live by myself. It is official! I have been really living solo since June but now I am in my own apartment by myself. Yesterday, I finished up cleaning my old apartment and returned my keys to my rental office. I am no longer a resident of Le Chateau. This made me a little sad because I had lived there for 4 years. First with my sister and then with Sarah. It was my first apartment. I really did love that apartment even with all it's faults. But I love my new place. It's the perfect size for me. Nice and cozy and now that my attention is not on two places I can finish unpacking and finally host game night! I think what I love the most about my new place is that I found it on my own. Katharine did most of the work finding our last place but I didn't have her this time. I did this. I searched the classifieds, called up potential landlords, made appointments to view apartments, made a decision without help from my family and sign a lease on my own. My parents didn't even see my place until I moved in. I did have a lot of help with moving and moral support but this is really all me.

I guess what really makes a person an adult is when you can make your own decisions. And not just what am I going to do tonight but the important ones. Financial, housing, entertainment, careers, marriage, friends, vacation and so much more. S, I think I am finally an adult. Now the questions is, is that a good thing or a bad thing? That is for another time.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

"Being an adult" is tricky. While one can set up various criteria for being an adult, that criteria seems to constantly be changing. It seems to me, from gathering the wisdom of the older and wiser, that "being an adult" is self-defined. There seems to be no defining criteria. The government has one way of determining you an adult, your parents have another, psychologists have yet another. For me, that brings the question, what's so fucking great about being an adult? As long as you pay your bills and live your life as a productive citizen, who the hell cares? It's more how you define yourself. Good, sweet Eleanor taught us that we should allow no one else to define us, we should only define ourselves. So if you define yourself as an adult, that's all that matters.