Birthdays, Colds and Beer

So, I have been 24 for a week now. It really doesn't feel all that different from 23 except I am just 1 year away from the big 25! The Quarter Century Mark! Scary! Today is my friend Beth's birthday! I'm sure she is having a wonderful day in Sunny Southern Florida! I still get a kick out of the fact that both Beth and I were born a week apart. I mean how cool is that the 2 Beth's were born exactly a week apart from each other! So, Anyway for my birthday last week I had a great birthday! I got my hair done and my nails painted. Then I had lunch with my dad. We went Long John Silver's. I know nothing special but I have been craving it for a while now. I don't really like fish but I love their battered-dip Chicken! Diet be damned! It was my birthday! Later my Parents took me to dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant, El Dorado. Yummy! And finally, my friends and I went to the Que Bar. I have to say I felt really special that so many people came out for my birthday. I have amazing friends. We had a lot of fun playing pool. Even though I am terrible at it I really enjoy playing. Katharine once said that "Pool is a game of frustration" because she and I are both good at Geometry but suck at pool. I can see the angles but for the life of me I can't execute it. But I am a lot better then I used to be. All in All it was a fabulous birthday topped off with my friend Katie doing the Thriller Dance! Priceless!

It is officially Christmas. The weekends have been just crazy busy and even the weekdays have been steady. Yesterday, I could barely get anything done because every time I left the cashwrap to do something I would be called back to register because of a line. This is good and bad. 1. It makes the day go by faster but 2. it's frustrating because I'm not able to get done what I need to get done. I guess you have to take the good with the bad. The other reason I know it's the Holiday season is that everyone is getting sick. Last week, almost every day we had multiple people call out sick. It's bad enough when 1 person calls out sick but when you have 2 or 3 in the same day it really fucks things up for the rest of us because then someone (like me) has to come in at 5:45am and I am not a morning person! Not I know I can't blame people for getting sick. We work in retail and especially at this time of year we interact with a lot of people so germs get spread around and it seems like if 1 person gets sick, others will soon follow. I now have a cold but unfortunately/fortunately for me it isn't bad enough to get me out of work. I just have no voice. Which sucks majorly!

Oh well, being sick hasn't stopped me from going to work or going out afterward. What I love the most about work is my coworkers/friends. They make all the bullshit we deal with worth it. I love hanging out with them after work and having a drink and playing pool. They are truly amazing people. They all make me laugh so hard. I love them all! We go to Old Chicago a lot after work because it's not that far away, they have a pool table, it's rarely busy and it's not smoky. It's really a chill atmosphere. Old Chicago has a beer club that if you drink all 110 beers they have you get your name on the Wall of Foam. Now, I know this is something that I will never make but it's fun to try. They have mini tours, like the Holiday tour. If you drink the all 12 beers of Christmas, then you got a free t-shirt. On Monday, I finished my first tour and in kind of a sick way, I am proud of my accomplishment. I've tried to finish a mini-tour before but never did. I think they fact that we go to Old Chicago so often made it a lot easier plus I had the support of my friends. Maybe that wasn't the kind of thing they should be encouraging but I did appreciated. Of course, now that I have finished, I need a new goal.

So, less then 2 weeks it will be Christmas! So Merry Christmas to you all! Happy Hanukkah! Merry Kwanzaa! I guess what I am trying to say is HAPPY HOLIDAYS Everyone.

P.S. If you had trouble seeing the photo of the Claus Nativity. I reposted the photo on my last post, so you should be able to see it now. :D

The Monthly Update

So, if you lose 20 lbs. with Nutrisystem, they send you a bear. I did not know this until I opened my box of next months food and there it was. A purple bear! I love it! I think it was the inspiration I needed because I haven't had a very good week. I blame Thanksgiving. I did well on the actual dinner it has been the consent going out and since then that has screwed me up. I went out Friday, Saturday, Sunday (but was home early) and Monday. Every night at Old Chicago. The good news is that I am half way to getting a t-shirt! It says Blitzen on it! Sweet!

Other than that things are going well. The holiday season is full swing. Work is getting busier except during a ice storm. I have started to put up my Christmas decorations. I got a Christmas tree, lights and singing Penguins. At the moment, my tree is only lit because all of my ornaments are still at home. This will be remedy tomorrow when I help mom decorate their tree and then I think I am going to take her to see some singing and dancing penguins on the big screen! I have already seen it and LOVED IT!

Ok, I can't think of anything else to write so I will leave you all with this photo. The Claus Nativity!

TWENTY POUNDS!

As of today, I have lost 20 lbs! I'm super stoked at the moment. Of course, I don't think having hash browns and huge omelet for breakfast didn't help things but I was meeting with my friend Melinda, who I haven't seen in so long! Anyways, I've lost 20lbs! Go Me! I'm only 43 more to go before my goal but I'm 20lbs closer then I was 2 months ago. But I have to stay focused. It was around this point when I was on South Beach that I started to lose interest or got unfocused. Of course it was also my senior year in college and I was just trying to keep my head up and not get all bogged down in stress and papers but nonetheless, I have stay focus. I have a cabinent stocked with food and I just bought more fruits and veggies, that I think I will be ok. When Katharine and I joined Curves, Pauline, who worked there, said that she could tell that we were ready to make the commitment and lose the weight. Well, I think Katharine was more then I was. This time I really am ready. In six months I am going to be so hot, you won't even recognize me. That is if you know me. *lol*

La Vie Boheme!

Rent Rent Rent Rent!! So, it doesn't work so well written down but when it's sung it's amazing! Yesterday, I saw the stage production of RENT for the third time. Of course it wasn't the same as seeing it for the first time but it was still amazing. The music, the stage production, the message. Yes, I did start to cry when Angel began to get sick, so about 3 songs into the second act. (Damn mom's sappy gene!) I went with my friends, Emily, Preston, Lindsay, Felicia and Andrea. Besides Emily and I, it was the first time for everyone else. They all had seen the movie before so they new the story and most of the songs but I knew they would love the musical so much more when they saw it as it was supposed to be seen. The movie is ok but it just doesn't have same impact as the stage production. There is something about the way it is staged that gives it life. I know that sounds weird because if you have seen it before you know that the stage is pretty much bare but the sparseness invites you into the story more. It takes way from the distractions of sets and just let's you focus on the story and the characters. After the show, I listened to the soundtrack on my ipod and relieved the whole experience. If you haven't seen it then I suggest you find out if the tour is coming to an area near you and go see it.

15 lbs!

I've lost 15 lbs!! Woohoo! I have to say I am really impressed with my self but I find it strange that other people can see that I have lost weight by looking at me but I can't. I can tell it in my clothes because I have more room in my pants then I had before. In some cases, my pants are getting to go so baggy that I don't even have to unbutton them to get them off! But when I look in the mirror I really don't see a difference in how I look. My coworkers have noticed, my mom and even my dad says he can see a difference so why can't I? I think maybe I want to see such a huge difference in how I look that I'm disappointed in the subtle change that consciously I don't see it at all. Anyway, I'm still proud of myself!

I really should post more.

I never thought I would say this again because there was a time when just looking at him made me nauseous but Leonardo Dicaprio is hot! I just saw "The Departed" and DAMN! is he good looking. Like, I said I never thought I would ever think such a thing after all the times I saw Titanic. Oh, yeah he's also a good actor and blah, blah, blah. Who knew by adding a boston accent and some baggy clothes and baseball cap it would turn him into a super stud! I'm having such a girl moment! hehe

Now enough about Leo, *sigh* I'm watching the new dvd of The Little Mermaid. My favorite disney movie of all time. I still remember seeing it in the theaters for the first time and can do all the lines and music. I love the music! Sebastien, Flounder, Scuttle and the whole game. The best friends a mermaid princess could ever have. I loooooove it! I wish I could have red hair like Ariel. Maybe this is where my fixation on red hair came from. hmmm...

I'm sure you ae all wondering how the diet is going. Well, I had about two weeks where I didn't so good. I haven't gained any of the pounds I have lost which is good but I also didn't lose anything either but I think I have now righted the ship. I am almost at 15 lbs! I'm hoping by the time mom and I go Christmas shopping in the beginning of November that I will be at the 20 lbs benchmark. That would be sweet. I am so looking forward to next summer when I can wear a swimsuit and not look like a whale.

In a funk

Lately I haven't really felt like going out. All I have wanted to do is go home and watch movies or lie in bed. I haven't been sleeping that well. I'm tired all the time and have little motivation to do anything. I'm surprised I have been able to stay focus on my diet in this condition. It's the only thing I have been able to do with any kind of enthusiasm because it's working. (I've lost 10 lbs!) I told this to a couple of friends and they all ask if I'm depressed. I don't think so but then again I have never been depressed before so how would I know. I think I am just going through a little funk. I think in a way I have always been a little bit of a homebody. Last year, I started going out more then I usually did because my friends at work would go out. Since, Jeremy left we have only been out once since. I'm hoping I will get out of this funk soon. I miss my friends.

Football Woes

My friend Scott is going to come over tomorrow to watch a college football game. No, not Iowa. No one in Iowa City will be seeing Iowa unless they at the game. (more on that later) His alma Mater, East Carolina has this deal with an online company to air all of their football games online but this year they "upgraded" their system and for whatever reason it doesn't work for Mac computers. From what Scott says, 90% of their subscriptions are PC's so basically they are screwing the 10% who are Mac users. That doens't really make sense to me but whatever. Luckily for Scott I have CSTV so he can watch the game anyway! Take that! I didn't know I had this channel. When I upgraded my cable package so I could get the tennis channel, I got like 10 other sports channels with it. I don't watch any of them because all I wanted was the Tennis Channel. And yes the Tennis Channel is worth the $3.99 more a month I pay for the privilege! I *heart* the Tennis Channel! The funny thing is I will be at work when Scott is here watching the game. Normally, I don't think I would be comfortable with someone else being in my apartment when I wasn't here but Scott is a real stand up guy. I know he isn't going to do anything that I would disapprove of and anyway, he did help me move so it's the least I can do. Of course this does mean I have to make my place more presentable. Yes, I am still not completely unpacked. I did get a for more boxes out but I kind of just left things on the floor and not in their new places. Hey, At least they are out of their boxes!

Things seem to have worked out well for Scott but for some Iowa fans not so much. I guess ESPN, who broadcasts Iowa games, is only goinig to show them on ESPN U. Mediacom, the only cable company in town, does not carry ESPN U. I wonder how many new Direct tv satelites were put up this week? *lol* Now, this doesn't really bother me. I've never been a big college football fan or even a big Iowa fan even if it is my alma mater. Actually, I'm really happy about this because now I don't have to worry about the Iowa game cutting into my US Open coverage! :D Uninterupted bliss! Well, not completely. I think Kgan is going to carry that damn telethon. Yes, I know it's for a good cause but why does it always have to be on the same time as tennis? I guess I should be happy with what I get.

Happy Birthday!

Last night was my friend Scott's birthday and today is my friend Kat's. So we had to go out and celebrate their birthday's, as well as our other coworker's Mary and Laura. (Mary for some reason didn't show up but we celebrated in her honor.) We went to Charlie's. A local bar in Coralville that is just weird. One half of the bar has the pool table and poles for dancing and the other side booths and palm trees. I'm not sure what they are trying to go for there but whatever. We usually only stay on the Pool side because we like to play, even though most of us are not very good. Like me but I am getting better. I bought a cake because it was suggested that since I got off work early that I should. I had ever intention of baking one but my luck in the kitchen hasn't been good lately. So, I got a chocolate cake with white icing and writing gel to write Happy Birthday on it. Yes, I am on a diet but since I knew I was going to be drinking beer and breaking my diet anyways, I might as well go all the way and have some cake too. We started with a couple pitcher's of beer and shots of tequila. Kat is usually my pool partner and she plays better when she is drunk so I try to liquour her up as much as possible. Joking! It was a lot of fun. It's been a long time since we all have gone out after work. I think that last time was for Jeremy's goodbye party back in June! It was fabulous! I love the people I work with! Happy Birthday Kat, Laura, Mary and Scott!

Day 1

I will admit it. I am fat. This isn't easy for me to say because well, no one likse to be fat. I have been overweight for most of my life. Over the years, I have tried different diets. I did weight watchers my freshman year in college and I lost about 20 pounds before school ended and I moved out of my dorm room and wasn't watching what I was eating. A year later Katharine and I did the South Beach Diet. That worked better for her then me because she lost a ton of weight. I lost about 35 lbs. So, it was my most successful diet but then my senior happened and I was too stress out and wanted comfort food and went downhill from there. I am now back at my heaviest, which was my beginning of freshman weight and not happy about it. I don't want to be fat anymore. So, I'm trying Nutrisystem out for a month. For those who do not know how Nutrisystem works, they send you a month's worth of food, breakfast, lunch, dinner, desert and snacks. I just have to add fruits, veggies and dairy to go along with my meals. Sounds easy enough. We shall see. So, wish me luck. Hopefully, the next time you see me I was be a couple of sizes smaller.

Wasting time

I have another 15 minutes before I can wash the dye out of my hair and then start phase two of my project. I'm being daring. Color and highlights. Woooo... I'm sure the color experts at Loreal will not lead my astray. The color I chose is Chocolate Mousse. Sounds delicious doesn't it.

I am also watching Andy Roddick playing Kristoff Vlegin at the Western and Southern Financial Group Masters in Cincinnati, Ohio. Roger Federer has already lost to Andy Murray of Scotland so there is a whole new excitement to the tournament now. Someone will win it now. Well, if it follows the pattern of the rest of the season then it will probably Rafael Nadal but whatever. It's great! It's exciting! I'm psyched!

I leave tomorrow for my mini holiday with my mom. I'm so ready for a few days of fun. I haven't been to a baseball game since Game 4 of the 2004 World Series. Yes, I was at the Game that the Red Sox finally broke the curse. It was sweet. Ok, time to wash my hair. Feel free to make a comment friends!

Shopping this Weekend! Woohoo!

So, lately I have been really tired and I don't know why. It's not like I'm not sleeping because I am. It's just not the quality of sleep I would like. I've been waking up every hour on the hour, from like 5am on. That sucks. I just want to sleep through the night once. That would be good.

This weekend, I am going to Minneapolis with my mom, Annie and her family. Annie's family are probably there now, having 1 last vacation before school starts. Mom and I are meeting them to go to a Twins game and do some shopping. I'm really excited. I haven't been to the Mall of America since MAY! I know, that doesn't seem like a long time but for my mom and I that is an eternity! I really don't need anything but that really isn't the point. We go to hang out and spend time with each other. If we buy something, great but if we don't then that's ok too. It's just something that mom and I do. Sometimes, people come with us and it's good and all but it just isn't the same. Mom and I usually have the most fun when it's just us or just us and Katharine. We have gone so many times that we have a routine. We try to mix it up but for the m ost time we follow our route and have a great time! I'm really looking forward to a weekend away from work!

Not much is going on with me. I work, I go home, I go back to work. This work to pay the bills thing sucks but good news! I have all my insurance issues worked out! So, yeah bring on the diseases! Just Kidding.

Am I an adult?

So when do you know that you are officially an adult? Is there some kind of ceremony? Certificate? Ok, obviously not because I have to receive other one of those things. Is it when you get married? Well, what if you never get married? So, is it when your friends start getting married? Ok, is it when you graduated College? Some people never graduate, didn't go or will never leave. Is it when you start paying your own bills? Well, technically I have been paying my own bills since I was a sophomore in college. Was I an adult then? How about this one. Is it when you first live alone? Well some people have never lived by themselves. This is tricky.

So, let's go down the list. No, I am not married and I don't have any prospects. I did however catch Melinda's bouquet at her wedding last week so maybe this is closer then I think. (God, I hope not) I've definitely reached the age that people I knew in high school were getting married and having kids but just because someone else is getting married does that mean I am adult too? Just like we all graduated together, we passed into adulthood from childhood together too. This doesn't seem right. And anyway, Melinda is the first of my close circle of friends to get married so... Well, I don't know where I'm going with that.

I am a college graduate. I graduated last year but in the last year I really don't feel that much older. I kind of feel like I'm living day to day with no real plan for tomorrow. Is that what it's like to be an adult. I always that adults have plans, direction. They have careers not jobs. I have a job. I like my job, don't get me wrong but it isn't what I want to do with my life. Ok, I am more of an adult then I think so.

Now, I am personal responsible for my bills. My parents are no longer giving my monthly stipens and I no longer have a roommate to split the cost of rent, heat, water, cable. So, does that make me an adult?

I do live by myself. It is official! I have been really living solo since June but now I am in my own apartment by myself. Yesterday, I finished up cleaning my old apartment and returned my keys to my rental office. I am no longer a resident of Le Chateau. This made me a little sad because I had lived there for 4 years. First with my sister and then with Sarah. It was my first apartment. I really did love that apartment even with all it's faults. But I love my new place. It's the perfect size for me. Nice and cozy and now that my attention is not on two places I can finish unpacking and finally host game night! I think what I love the most about my new place is that I found it on my own. Katharine did most of the work finding our last place but I didn't have her this time. I did this. I searched the classifieds, called up potential landlords, made appointments to view apartments, made a decision without help from my family and sign a lease on my own. My parents didn't even see my place until I moved in. I did have a lot of help with moving and moral support but this is really all me.

I guess what really makes a person an adult is when you can make your own decisions. And not just what am I going to do tonight but the important ones. Financial, housing, entertainment, careers, marriage, friends, vacation and so much more. S, I think I am finally an adult. Now the questions is, is that a good thing or a bad thing? That is for another time.

The Clean Up Begins!

Ok, so the moving part is done. All that is left is cleaning up the old apartment. The carpet guy is coming on Friday and I have two weeks to finish cleaning the rest of the apartment before I give back the key and leave Le Chateau for good. I will miss that apartment. It's hard to believe that I had lived there for 4 years. Katharine and I moved in the summer after my freshman year of college. Kat moved out last year and Sarah moved in. Then Sarah moved out in May and now I am gone too. Standing in my living room after the last of my stuff had been taken to mom or dad's car, I started to get a little teary eyed. I didn't actually cry because I was too exhausted too. I think I might really cry when I finish with the clean up.

As for the move itself. It didn't go exactly as planned. What was supposed to happen, was I was going to go to my rental office, pick up my keys, pay rent, go back to my old apartment pack all my entertainment up and bring over to my new apartment so it would be ready for the cable guy when he got there. Mom was going to bring Zach and Emily at 10 and we were going to start carrying small things to mom's car. At noon, dad and I were going to get the truck and then load the big things and then at 1 my friend Scott would come by and help load and unload. Well, I unbeknownst to me, my rental office's power was turned off by the city because of repairs so they were not going to open until noon. As I was calling my cable people to reschedule the cable guy was calling to say they were on their way. Of course, the one time the cable people come in the first hour of the four hour window. Typical! I called mom, and she was already on her way and so instead of starting to load her car, she took me out to breakfast. That was probably a good idea because it was a very humid day and if any of us had tried to do all that moving on an empty stomach we would have been toast. We decided to see if you could get the truck a little bit early. We did. So mom went to get Zach and Emily and I went back to my rental office. Now, the people I rent from are very nice people and they did just move offices so they are not all situated yet but she was surprised that I was moving in on Thursday and not Saturday and she didn't have the keys, they were in the apartment. Something that would have been good to know because if I had known that, I would have needed someone to let me in and I could have been there for the cable guy (more on that later) but oh well the past is the past. From there on, things went pretty smoothly. We got everything from one apartment to the other in one day, leaving a few things behind like cleaning supplies that will be needed in the next couple of weeks.

Now, the cable. I had to reschedule my appointment for today but I had to work. I really don't have a lot of time to sit around for the cable guy. I'm working every day this week because of I took this upcoming weekend off for my friend Melinda's wedding. So, I asked if my mom would wait for me and because she is a great mom she did. Sadly for her and me they didn't show up. They didn't even call. I think the connection I am getting now is from the previous tenants account. So, tonight, instead of going to see my friend Preston's band play (his show was cancelled) I spent most of my night on hold. When I did get through to someone, she had no idea why that didn't show up. The only note in my file was that I wasn't there on Thursday. Some where my reschedule appointment got lost. Which is weird because I talked to someone else earlier in the day and they said they were on their way. hmmm... Anyway, so my appointment has been rescheduled and I got a $20 credit, which is not nearly enough but it's a start. I have never had trouble with this company before so I hope this will be the last of my troubles with them.

Other then that, things are going great! I have most of my apartment unpacked. Thanks to mom, my kitchen is in order. My room is coming together and my living room is looking more and more like a living room. So, yeah, I'm really excited about my new place. :D

I know I haven't posted in a while but I've been busy!

1. My sister Katharine and her fiance were in town so every moment I wasn't at work, I was hanging out with them. It was so great to see them. I wish we had more time because I don't know when I will see them again. Wales never seems so far away as it does now.

2. I've been getting my living situation settled. I found an apartment. A nice 1 bedroom in a good area of Coralville. I move in on Thursday so I've gone into packing overdrive!

3. Melinda's wedding is in two weeks! This week I have to go to her wedding shower and then my final fitting for my bridesmaid's dress on Friday! I haven't even started to plan her bachelorette party. Why oh why did I volunteer to plan it?!

So, basically I probably won't be updating anytime soon but really how is that any different. *lol* In the meantime, leave me some comments!

You're so Stupid!

I hear a lot of stupid things when I'm at work. Sometimes it is a customer question but every once in a while I over hear someone say something so idiotic that makes my mouth drop. The other day, I was working in the travel section when a woman and a man came to look for travel guides. I was currently pdting the African/Asian guides and couldn't really see what they were looking at but the woman told the man that she was going to go to Greece but then she realized that everything was going to be in Greek. When I heard that I stopped what I was doing to digest what I just head. Did she just say she wasn't going to Greece because everything was going to be in Greek? They speak Greek in Greece. What does she want everything to be in English every where she goes? That definitely limits where she can go and anyway, no matter where you go in the world in most touristy areas the people will speak passable English. And this is the kind of person that wouldn't dare go beyond the touristy areas. God forbid she actually experience the country they are visiting. Now, the man and the woman were looking at the European guides. So, I hope she is going to France and tries to speak English every where she goes and the French treat her like shit!

I wish the stupid remarks I hear were limited just to work but sadly that is not true. Last week, I went to get my hair cut. (btw, my hair is really cute now!) I was a little early so sat in the waiting area with everyone else who were waiting too. I picked out ESPN the Magazine to read because it had a preview of the World Cup. I'm mucho excited about the World Cup. A little bit more excited then, then I am now after the US bombed it's first game but whatever. On the Cover it said "Futbol" instead of football. The woman next to me saw that and said "They spelled that wrong." I looked at her and I'm sure I didn't a terrible job of disguising my disgust at her ignorance. I said It depended on what language you were speaking. Luckily Nicole, my stylist was ready for me and that ended that conversation. Yes, that major magazine misspelled a word on it's cover. Come on Lady. Soccer is an international sport that is more popular outside the US then in it. They were just reflecting that. I couldn't believe this woman said that but at least me and my friends have got some good laughs out of it and other stupid things people say.

Presenting Limony Snicket!

Don't ever say that the Managers and Barnes and Noble are not willing to go the extra mile for their customers. On Monday Tony, one of our ASM's, dressed up Limony Snicket (The brother of Lemony Snicket because we couldn't get the real one to show up. Which is a shame because I love Daniel Handler! but I digress.) Now for those who know Tony, I am sure will be shocked by the following photo but those who don't know him, well let me put this way. I don't know what kind of dirt our CRM Beth J. got him that made him do it because he is not the kind of person who volunteer for such a gig. The Last 4 Harry Potter parties we have tried to get him to be Snape because he would be perfect for it. All he would have to do is take his hair out of his ponytail and wear and black robe and voila! Snape! It would be perfect. Since I doubt that will happen for the release of HP7, we will have to make do with this.
I Present to you Limony Snicket! Enjoy!

Random

1. My first week as a lead. Well, I'm not really sure you can call it my first full week at my new position because of Memorial Day. I worked on Sunday, then had Monday and Tuesday off, worked Wednesday and then had Thursday off. Let's just say, I haven't gotten much done in the last couple of days. Oh well, at least next week I'll have more time on the floor. Hopefully.

2. Future-Brother-in-law is a very funny man. He has a wicked sense of humor and it borders on blasphemy. And I say that in the best way possible. My friend Anna was over to watch his Opus, Lethal Messiah. Which brings the count of people I have shown the movie to 3. It should be 4 but there was some technical difficulties.

3. James Blake is a stud! If you haven't watch any of ESPN 2's coverage of the French Open. You really should.

4. Yellow really isn't my color. Yesterday, I tried on my bridesmaid's gown for my friend Melinda's wedding. Unfortunately, they didn't have her coral color in my size so I had to try it on in yellow. For that reason, I have to with hold judgment on the dress because that would not be fair. Yellow doesn't really look good on anyone.

5. "I crashed my van into Jesus!" God, I love Hilary Faye! If you haven't seen the movie Saved! You should. It is so funny.

6. Sarah. I miss you already! :-(

7. Kat and John are coming to see us! Woohoo!

8. This is the funniest thing I have seen this month! Be Warned. You should not be drinking while watching it.

9. The NBA season isn't over yet. You mean, the finals haven't started yet? Are you kidding? No play offs should take two months to play out. That is just insane. I've already lost interest. Well, almost. I'm glad to see the Miami Heat made the finals.

10. I really don't have anything for 10 but I felt it is better to end the list at 10 instead of 9. 10 is just a nice round number. Have a good weekend everybody!

Why does it have to be so difficult?

This finding a place to live thing is really stressing me out. I don't think I'm mature enough to handle this. I spent most of the day calling people about possible apartments and for the most part left disappointed. It's not because there are not apartments available. On contrary, there are a lot of apartments available in the Iowa City area but not what I want. Of all the people I talked to only one complex has a 1 bedroom apartment that allows cats. I don't have a cat yet but my friend Elizabeth's uncle breeds Maine Coon cats. One of his mama cats needs a good home and I was hoping to provide that for her but now I don't know. This apartment is one of the higher priced apartments and there is a pet fee on top of the rent. So, now the question I am asking myself is my want for a cat is more then my desire for something else? If I have a cat, what am I willing to give up? But the best question is can I really afford to have a cat? I've never lived alone before so I thought having a cat would help with the loneliness of not having a roommate and really I have wanted my own cat since I moved out of my parents house. I love our cat, Mittens but she lives in Marion and I only get to see her once and while. I miss having a cat sleep with you at night and wake you up in the morning and snuggling with you as you watch TV. But then again, I have lived 5 years without a cat, I can wait another year right? I'm so confused. Maybe it will be a good idea to see how I do by myself for a year. I can see how much money I have left over every month. Maybe I will have enough to keep a cat and maybe I won't. Now I have all these options but none of them is really what I want. I really don't know what to do. Maybe moving back home isn't such a bad idea after all. Oh, wait. Yes it is.

Somebody's Getting Married!

It wasn't that long ago. Ok, it was last December, my friends Melinda, Valerie and I were discussed how we thought it was crazy that people are age were getting married. See, we had just left Beth W.'s house for a party. It was attended by people we went to Junior/High School with. Most of the party we spent talking about those in our class who were already married, getting married or having children. It is amazing to me how many of my former classmates fit in one of the catergories or more. I mean, We are only 22-23 years old. We just graduated from college. Why settle down now? Well, I bring this up because Melinda just recently got engaged and is getting married this summer. I had lunch with her today and she asked me to be in her wedding. Of course I said yes because secretly I was hoping she would ask me but still I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE IS GETTING MARRIED!! I've been friends with her since 7th grade. She was one of my first friends when I moved to Iowa and to this day she is one of my closest friends. Out of the three of us, Melinda, Valerie and I, I'm not surprised that she is getting married. Especially since she was the only one of us who had a significant other. I haven't had a meaningful relationship since never and Val is a lesbian so she can't legally get married even if she wanted too. What a difference five months make. I would have never thought that both Melinda and my sister would be engaged. Oh, I don't want you all to think I'm not happy for her. I really am. I haven't meant the groom-to-be yet. In the past our schedules never matched up so we haven't had the chance but we will meet soon. I haven't seen Melinda this happy in a long time so I know this is the right decision for her. But one thing, I saw the Prudential's dress and um...It's coral. I'm not sure how I feel about that. *lol*

Announcement!

I guess it's true that when one door closes another one opens. So, I'm not moving to Chicago. I am still a little bummed but there is no reason to dwell on it. Well, yesterday I was promoted to a Lead position at my store. I'm excited about it. It really could not have come at a better time because I'm looking for a new apartment and since I know I will have 40 hours a week. Basically what I am saying is that I know how much I can spend on rent. I didn't really have a problem paying rent on what I was currently making because I was splitting with my roommates but I was a little nervous how I would be able to do it on my own, especially since my hours were sporadic. Some weeks I would close to 40 hours a week and sometimes I would only 20. That is worry of the past now.

So it's been a good week for my family and friends. I got a promotion. My sister finally told my parents she is getting married. My roommate Sarah, Graduated and got a B in GREEK! (believe that is a major accomplishment!) and my friend Melinda graduated and is getting married also! Plus the lovely Elizabeth has been here all week to celebrate with us. It's been a good week. :D

Love means nothing in Tennis

First of all, I think I should be given a round of applause because this is my 4th update in a week. This is either a sign that I have turned a corner and have need to communicate with the invisible people out there in cyberland or recently I have just had way too much time on my hands. Maybe it's a little bit of both.

A month ago, I signed up for the Tennis Channel. I have been waiting three years to get it and it was worth the wait and the extra $3.95 I'm paying. (I got other channels too with the upgrade but it was the Tennis Channel that I wanted.) For those who don't know me. I am a tennis NUT! I am the type of person who gets up at 2 in the morning to follow a match in Australia on my computer. Now, that's hardcore! The past couple of years ESPN has been my only outlet for tennis and while, yes their coverage has improved it still leaves little to be desired and to make things worse, they dropped most of the clay season. So come spring, I missed all the warm-up tournaments to the French Open. Oh that sucked. It's hard to handicap a field when didn't get a chance to see them. The clay season isn't my favorite part of the tennis year anyway but it drives me crazy that there is tennis on TV somewhere and I wasn't able to see it. Well, that is all in the past now. I got up around 9:30 this morning and I have seen Andy Roddick, Roger Federer, Marat Safin, and later Rafael Nadal! SWEET! And, the Tennis Channel is getting the Eurosport or Sky Sport feed so I don't have to listen to the all the gabbing between points. I do miss Mary and Cliffy but they will be back for the French. I love this channel so much!

What is a girl to do?

So I'm not moving to Chicago after all. This sucks but for now it is the best decision for me. I really don't know what I want to do so that makes it difficult to look for a job. But the real deciding factor is that I owe my parents too much money and I really don't want to go into anymore debt and anyway, if I wait another year for some of my friends to graduate, I'll have someone to live with in Chicago. So until then, I'm ok (well, maybe not ok but fine with) staying. I'm pretty sure I will be made a lead soon so that will help my cause. Of course it sucks, once I decide to stay others have decided to lead. Damn them! Now, if only I came to this decision before I gave up my apartment. I have two options. I can either move back into my parents house or find a cheap apartment here. My friends have already signed leases so so much for finding a roommate. I'm not really that comfortable placing an ad for one. and 1 bedroom apartments are expensive. But at least I wouldn't have to live with my parents. I'm not sure any of us are truly looking forward to that. My friend Melinda, just recently graduated from Creighton and is moving back. I tried to convince her to move in with me for the summer but I think I failed but I'm still hopeful. I'm really pretty stressed out about this whole thing. Being an adult sucks.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

So, in honor of Cinco de Mayo, a restaurant downtown is having a special on Coronas. I think they are $2 for a bottle. I really don't know because I don't ever go downtown anymore, except maybe once a month but this is what my roommate Sarah tells me. Apparently when you order a Corona, it comes dressed in a little sombrero and bandana. How cute is that? Sarah has been going there every day this past week and brought home the little sombrereo and bandana to show me. They are now on my stuffed Chihuahua, squirrel?. And let me tell you, he looks absoulutely adorable. I'm sure you are looking at his name and puzzling what is with the question mark? Well that's part of his name. Squirrel? You have to say it as it is a question. Crazy, no? There is a story behind it. Of course there is a story. One does not come up with such things without having a reason for it. My sister and I like to watch the movie, Fools Rush In with Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek. Yes, not the best movie in the world but good when your in the mood for a nice light romantic comedy. Anyway, there is a scene where Matthew's character's parents show up at his house to surprise him and Salma's chihuahua runs out of the front door. The dad ask, "Squirrel?" Kat and I just think it was the funniest line of the whole movie and we joke that if we ever got a dog it had to be a chihuahua and it's name is going to be squirrel? And we would insist on everyone pronouncing it like they were posing a question. Now this idea has giving us hours of amusement and also amusement for our friends. This past Christmas, Sarah, my roommate, bought me a Beanie Baby Chihuahua. It was love at first sight. I knew from the moment I held it my hands that this Chihuahua was my squirrel?. When you put it down it naturally sits and cocks it's head to side as if itself is asking, squirrel? It is too cute. So, now I have my Squirrel?. Maybe one day I will get a real one but for now Squirrel? Is all the Chihuahua I need.

This is the kind of stupidity that I have to deal with. I had the following conversation with a customer on Saturday, April 29, 2006.

Scene: Barnes and Noble, Coralridge Mall, Coralville, Iowa City.

The Salesperson (ME) is standing at the computer in the fiction section, trying to clock out for her lunch. She is approached by the a middle aged blonde woman.

Customer: Excuse Miss, do you work here?

Me: Yes, what can I help you with? (Why are you bothering me now? All I want to do is go to lunch?)

Customer: Where is your non-fiction section?

Me: um...What are you looking for because everything except for this section we are standing in now is non-fiction. (I love this question because it is so stupid?)

Customer: Oh, everything on that side?

Me: Everywhere but right here, ok the cafe isn't non-fiction but everything else in the store is. What are you looking for? (ok she's an idiot)

Customer: I don't know. I need to do a book report for a class and I need, like, four non-fiction books?

Me: Ok, what are you interested in? What do you like to read?

Customer: I like mysteries. (She knows that mysteries are fiction right? Please do not tell me I'm going to have to explain to her what non-fiction is.)

Me: Ok, how about true crime.

Customer: that doesn't sound too bad. I don't want anything too heavy.

Me: Ok, well, um...Let's see.

Customer: Non-fiction is real right?

Me: Yes (Oh, good there is something going on upstairs.)

Customer: ok good.

Me: How about the Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil? Have you seen the movie?

Customer: Yes

Me: Well, you will like the book if you liked the movie. I'll let you look around. Let us know if you need any more help.

End Scene.

This one is for my fan. I finally updating my blog. I would have updated it earlier but we had technically difficulties with our internet. Sadly, I have to write this all over again. It was a really nice piece of writing too. Oh well. Let's not live in the past.

So I am back from Great Britain. I loved it and yes I am sad that I am back. Not that I don't like Iowa City but London and Cardiff are wonderful. They both are great cities, with so much to do that I have to go back. I miss my sister but it was cool to hang out with her again. My Aunt Carole came with us. We don't get to see her that often so it was wonderful to reconnect with her. She is the coolest. We went the the Tate Britain museum and saw Westminister Abbey. We did the Pub quiz with John (Kat's boy). We didn't do that badly but we did get our picture on the Quiz master's website. Cool, huh? Do you want to see Photos? (You may have to sign up to see them but it's free)

Since I have been back I have done nothing but work. Ok, so that's not totally true but it feels like it. Not that I'm complaining because I can use the cash but I feel like I haven't really accomplished anything in the past week that isn't work related. I need to rework my resume before I start appling for jobs in Chicago. I have to call this lady for my insurance. I have to do laundry. ( I really need to do laundry). So, hopefully now that I have been back a week and have got the vacation all out of my system I will be more productive this week. Cross your fingers.

So, there you go, loyal reader. I promise to update more often. Love Ya!

Rant!

How can we expect kids to learn any kind of manners or respect for other people's property when their parents can't be bothered to show any kind of manners or respect for other's people's property? I work in a bookstore and lately I have had at least one shift in our kids department. The things are see, just well, disgust me. My mom would never let me get away with the shit that goes on. She would never let us take out a stack of books and then leave them for someone else to pick up. If we ripped a book she just wouldn't leave it in some remote corner for us to find after close. She definitely wouldn't leave her kids in the kids department and then wonder off to some where else in our store or in the mall as if our kids department is a drop off day care. No wonder kids are screwed up! A couple weeks ago, I was recovering in kids when I over heard a grandfather telling his granddaughter that she didn't have to put the stack of at least 20 8x8 spinner books because "that's what their here for." Can you believe that? I wanted to go over to him and say, no that's not what I do. I am a BOOKSELLER. I am here to sell books and the more time I spend picking up after slobs like you the less time I have to sell books but I didn't. I quietly walked to the other side of the department and waited for them to leave. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Parents bring in stacks of books into the kids department from other places in the store and then leave them for us to put back later. They sit in our cafe and take notes from our books like we are library. That is technically stealing. They use our books as coasters. They rip covers so they can try to get an extra discount. They do this as if it were their own books but they are not. They are our property until they buy it. You wouldn't go to someone else's place and rearrange their furniture or destroy their things so why is it ok to do when you go shopping? All I'm saying is, What happened to having good manners or having respect for others? Is that too much to ask? Apparently so.

So I need some advice.

This week I got notice that my apartment lease is going to run out on July 31, like every one else in Iowa City. This I knew. Now I have to make a choice. I do plan on moving to Chicago. Change that I WILL be moving to Chicago. So, really I saw that I will not be renewing my lease. But here is where I need help? What happens come July and I still have not have found a job and Chicago and I no place to live here? Do I move home or do I just try my luck in Chicago. Personally, I say the latter. It's going to be easier to find a job in Chicago if I am in Chicago. So, the bigger question, should I move earlier. Like say May or June? I know the parents are not going to be fond of the idea of me moving before I have a job but it will help the job search and I do have enough money in my savings to sustain me for awhile. If I can I find a reasonable apartment with a short lease or even better a month to month lease then I can always move someplace better once I have a job and will have a better idea of finances. What do you think? Is this a good idea or not? Any other suggestions on what I should do? Anyone want to move with me? Just kidding. But seriously people drop me a line and tell me what to do.

You can call this an occupational hazard but when I REALLY like a book I feel it is my duty to tell the world. Ok, not the world but my friends and family. In the last month I have read two such books, so here you go.

Hot Animal Love by Scott Bradfield. This was recommended by my roommate Sarah and it's brilliant. It is a collection of short stories that explore different aspects of love and relationships. The best one is called "Penguins for Lunch" and not just because I love penguins but because it's a great story. It alone is worth picking up a book.

The People's Republic of Desire by Annie Wang. I just finished it last night after starting it Saturday. I usually don't read books that fast but I really couldn't put it down. It was an advanced copy sent to the store and to be honest what caught my eye is the cover is mostly pink and I really like the color pink. After reading the back cover, I thought it was going to be Sex in the City: China. In same ways it was that. It followed 4 women who live in Beijing and their various relationships but it was deeper then Sex in the City. It was almost like a culural study of women in modern China. While the women in the story were trying to figure out where they fit in the new China, China itself is trying to figure out where they fit in with the rest of the world. It was really interesting.
So there are my books of the moments. I know they are not for everyone but if you have some free time you should pick one of them up to read.

I really hate being sick.

I really do. I feel like shit and all I want to do is sleep. I have done nothing the last 2 days but sleep.(Minus the 2 hours that my parents took me out to dinner and I met Patrick for coffee) I have slept so much that I'm actually too tired to fall asleep. And what sucks even more about this is that these are my days off. I should be enjoying my time away from work but instead I am in bed, blowing my nose and hoping that I won't puke. I'm sure it was a beautiful day today but I wouldn't know since I really didn't get up until around 5 this afternoon. So, to sum up. I hate being sick. Oh, fuck, I'm out of Kleenex.

Right now I am watching a special on Roman Vice on the History channel. Those Romans were kinky people. I find it interesting that the place that once cheered on Gladiators and group orgies is now the home of the Catholic Church. Ok, technically Vatican City is it's own country but located on the outskirts of Rome. Did you know that Pompeii was like the Las Vegas of the Roman world? Interesting, no?

I guess I should post something since I haven't in a while. I didn't get the job I interviewed for last week. That's ok. I'm not sure it's what I want to do anyway and if I did get it I would have to be moving like right now. I don't think I can handle that kind of stress right now. Maybe this naive but I kind of what to move on my own terms. I don't want to be rushed. So, I'm still going to look and find an absoutely fabulous job and an apartment that I love and can afford and this summer I'll be gone. :D

So I have a minor case of Olympic fever baby! I love the winter Olympics, just because all of the sports, you know were created on a dare! The Luge is awesome! The Biatholon amazing! And who knew that the US had a pretty good curling team! You all should check it out! Who knows, Bode Miller might get his head right and win a medal.

I mean business!

Today Mom and I, well mostly mom, took Anna to the Cheesecake factory and the Jordan Creek Mall in Des Moines to celebrate her birthday. We love shopping and Anna is a good shopping partner for us. It was a really fun time. I had a great time but I am totally stuffed. It was also a kind of celebration for me too. My plans to move to Chicago got a big boost this past week. On Monday I will be driving with my dad to Chicago for an interview. I am very stoked about it but incredibly nervous. This could be it. This could be the company I could be working for. This could mean I will be moving sooner then I thought. This could mean I will be living alone for the first time in a city more then 45 minutes away from my family. AHHH! Scary! Or it could be nothing. Just another learning experience. I don't want to get to excited because it's just the initial interview. I'll just be happy to get a second interview. Anyway, I wasn't sure what to wear. Sure I have a lot of nice clothes that I wear to work and look professional enough for Barnes and Noble but what I really needed was suit. A nice business suit that says "Hire Me because I mean business". I think I found that suit. It's a nice bluish gray color with white pin-stripes and with my new shoes I got a month ago I'm going to look fabulous. If they don't hire me on the spot they must be crazy! Just kidding but the suit is amazing. So, anyway wish me luck!

Where were you?

Today is the 20th anniversary of the Challenger explosion. I vaguely remember it happening being that I had just turned 3 years old the month before it happen. I don't know if I actually remember mom sitting my sister and I down to watch a replay to explain what happen or if I have just heard my sister tell the story so many times that I think I remember it. It was definitely one of those events that people ask the question, "Where were you?" For my parents generation and older, it is "Where were you when John F. Kennedy was murdered?" I guess for is it's either, "Where were you when Princess Diana died?" or "Where were you on September 11?" Whatever the day is, supposedly it's one of those events that is supposed to bring us together, right. Something that we are all supposed to have in common because one way or another we all experienced the same thing.

So where was I? I was coming up the stairs to go to bed and to say good night to mom when Princess Diana died. She was flipping channels and came across one of the news channels reporting about it. First they were saying that Diana was just sent to the hospital with a broken arm and 20 minutes later she was dead. There was mom and I crying over someone we had never met. Years later, I was getting on the bus to go back to my dorm room. People were talking about how a plane had just crashed into the U.N. building. I really wasn't paying attention but I made a point to turn on the TV when I got back to my room. I got back just in time to see the second plane crash into the second tower. It was so surreal, like a movie. That's where I was. Where were you?

Yeah for Weekends!

It's been a while since I have had the full weekend off. I almost didn't know what to do with myself. I slept in until noon on both days. And didn't get out of my pj's until around 2pm. I colored my hair. I think I finally got my hair to the perfect shade of red. I've always wanted to be a redhead, you know. I finished re-reading Harry Potter number six and yes I did cry again at the end. I went shopping. I bought 3 pairs of pants and 2 sweaters for $35 at Old Navy. How amazing is that? I went out Saturday night and played pool. Ok, so that really isn't that different from any other night. I also went to a movie. I saw Brokeback Mountain. I really enjoyed it. It was beautifully done. Heath Ledger did such an incredible job. I've been a fan of his since his short lived TV series, Roar. I love him. And Michelle Williams. I almost forgot she was ever on Dawson's Creek. I definitely recommend it. If you get a chance to see it, see it. Sure there we many things I probably should have done instead of what I did but I can do those things later. I mean, It's been so long since the last time I had both Saturday and Sunday off and lucky me I get it off next week too. :D I know not to get too used to it, so I better enjoy it while I can. I love weekends, I really do.

Australian Open starts in 5 hours!!

I had no idea how much work goes into writing the perfect resume. I think I'm on my fourth or fifth draft. Thank God I have Stephanie and Anna to help me out because I would be lost. We have made real progress and I think we might have got it into good enough shape that I can send it out. I was hoping to have it ready by Tuesday so I can fax a copy of my resume and cover letter to Travelzoo.com's office in Chicago. For those who do not know the wonder that is travelzoo.com, check out there site. If you want to find the best deals on airfare and hotels, this is the place to look. One of my hobbies is too look up deals for travel on the internet. I like to sit at my computer and dream of where I would go if I could go anywhere. So it goes without saying, I would LOVE to work for travelzoo. I realize that I'm probably a long shot for the position and that I would be lucky to get an interview but you never know until you apply. What is that line in Win a date with Tad Hamilton? "Your chances improve when you fill out an application. So Tuesday is the day. I'm going to fax my resume and they are going to see what asset I will be and hire me right on the spot!

In the meantime, tomorrow I am going to Davenport to talk to Mr. Kennedy but what he has available at his station. I'm not sure what to expect. He may have something and he may not. It will probably be on of those, "well it was nice to finally meet you. I'll keep you in mind if something opens up" type of deals. That's fine. At least it will be something. If I do get a job there, even if it for a couple of months, that experience will go a long way to reaching my ultimate career goal of being a sports radio producer.

It's kind of funny. Two weeks ago, I felt like I was running out of options and now I feel like I have so many opportunities. Maybe I am just fooling myself but I don't care. I haven't felt this good about myself in a long time. I'm doing something. I am finally make steps to do something that I really want to do. One of my heroes is my best friend Lisa. She left. When she said she was going to go to school out of the state, she actually did. Now she is living in Los Angelos with a great job and doing what she wants to do. I wish I was as brave as her when I was deciding where to go to college. And now my sister is in Wales, doing what she loves. If they both can do it, then why can't I. I'm only moving three and half hours away not half-way across the country or on the other side of the Atlantic. I can do this and I will do this. Again, if anyone needs a couch to sleep on, I am going to have the most comfortable couch ever! :D

Schadefreude!

Sometimes it's the little things that make me happy. Like watching someone trying to parallel park or the latest Oprah book not being all that it is supposed to be. Ok, so maybe they aren't on the same level but they both make me smile a bit. I do respect Oprah. I think she does some wonderful things and her rags to riches story is (for lack of a better word) inspiring but I don't really like her. I find her to be a egomaniac. I mean, does she have to be on the cover of every single issue of her own magazine? Does she have to publicize every charity event she does? It's great that she wants to help her viewers lose weight and redecorate their homes but does she have to force on them. I think what bothers me the most is that she has such a loyal fan base that they will do anything she tells them too. They are nothing but clones. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad they will read it, buy it or wear it. It's just sad.

Which brings me to her latest book club selection, A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. It's supposed to be a biography of how Mr. Frey gets himself over his many addictions. Well, it turns out that some of his "life" is made up. Apparently, in his "memoirs" he talks about a time when he assaulted a police officer in Ohio and incited a riot. Well, this was news to the police department that was supposed to happen. Oops. So the lesson here for everyone is if your going to fabricate some of your life, don't let your book be selected for Oprah's book club because it will be become a best seller because her lemmings will buy it in bulk and then people will look up your police record and find out you are lying. Wow, that was a really long sentence.

So, I have made an important decision.

I am moving. I like Iowa City but it's time to move on. After I passed over for the second time for a promotion at work, I was really low. The first thought that crossed my mind is that nobody wants me. I have been sending out resumes and applying to varies companies and nothing has come out of them. What I really want to do is a radio producer but I keep being told that I don't have enough experience. Even when I had applied for an internship they said I didn't have enough experience. For a freaking' internship! That is what they are designed for is to gain experience. So, being passed over again and given the same excuse as the time before was the last straw. Being told that I had all the qualifications and that I could do the job did make the let down any easier. Ok, it is true that I have no intentions of working for Barnes and Noble for the rest of my life and retail is not my career goal but I do a good job and I kind of feel like because I am responsible and reliable that I taken for granted some times.

This is all going to change because I am moving. Iowa City may not be the city for me. I think my boss has done me a favor. I never intended to stay here as long as I have. For one thing, when my dad accepted the job in Iowa, we were under the impression that we would only be here for about two years. 10 years later we are still here. When I was a senior in high school, I was going to apply to colleges out of state but since I didn't know what I wanted to study it didn't make sense for me to pay out of state tuition when I could pay in state. So I decided that I would get all of my Gen Ed's out of the way and transfer after two years. Two years came and went and then I thought well, I'm half way done. I might as well finish here and save my money so I could move after I graduated. I did that in May, so really the only thing that is keeping me here is me. I am tired of holding myself back. So, I'm going to finish out my lease on my apartment and then move. That gives me seven months to find a job and an apartment in Chicago and get out of this state! First time in a long time I feel good. I know I will miss the people I work with and the people I know here but it's not like I'm going far away or anything like that. I need to do this. I need to do something different with my life. I need to see if I am able to live on my own. I need to see if I can take care of myself. I know I can do it, I just need to do it. So come August, when you want to see me you will have to come to Chicago! I'll have the couch waiting for you.